People are constantly asking me why I’m hoping to retire later this year and also why I get into little debates on Twitter. To any of my clients who know me well, it’s obvious that my patience and tolerance are running thin, but why? That’s what so many want to know and it’s too much for me to type out to everyone who asks individually or for a Curiouscat answer so I’ll address the issue here.
My frustrations with the industry started when I began recognizing how incredibly toxic and hateful it can be. Two years ago it wasn’t quite as bad; there were always cliques, childish behaviors, and attempting to screw each other over for profit. That can be found in lesser degrees in other work environments so I went in expecting that, however, I didn’t know just how bad it would be or how bad it would become. It’s not even the workers themselves that are completely to blame. It would be very easy to make assumption, but it’s far from the truth. Like it or not, but as clients you control the market and many of you unknowingly or otherwise reward a lot of the behaviors that are ruining the industry.
Daily I see men humiliating themselves for the approval of the community, declaring masculinity as “dangerous” or “toxic” and more. When you do this or reward people who share this ideology with cash or the attention and dopamine they crave, you are part of the problem. I get that a lot of you are good and want to be a good guy, but just as many of you are playing along to get close to community as well which is both disturbing and disgusting. A lot of you also buy into it too. It’s no secret that a huge majority of the client base are the kind of bugmen who follow accounts like the feminist next door (@emrazz) or Dr. Eric Sprankle (@DrSprankle) etc and I never quite understood why. I’m not telling anyone what to think or who to follow by the way, I just want you to maybe consider why you have the mindset that you do and also why you support the people that you do. These are people, communities, and ideologies that want you to hate yourself for being who you are and how nature intended you to be. If you embrace masculinity or feel as though you don’t need to be re-educated because of how a minority of men act, you’re the bad guy. People may tease you and mock you with the “not all men” bullshit if you speak out against this, but you’re right to do so.
Don’t any of you wonder why women are almost never held accountable in the mainstream for how a minority of us act? Women are statistically proven more likely to harm someone including their own children simply for attention. There are so many documented cases, but mainstream society doesn’t seem to think we need to be re-educated on how to behave like a decent human being over it. Why? Why is it that women feel the need to constantly compare their accomplishments to the accomplishments of men? Why do people continuously try to delude themselves into believing that men and women are biologically equal? Who is mostly promoting these ideas? This isn’t an expression of misogyny, this is just a brutal and real truth and some basic questions for you to consider. I love being a woman, I love and embrace femininity just as much as I do masculinity. The people promoting the idea of toxic masculinity etc, are hateful themselves. Their preachings of self-love and self-care are an attempt to hide their hatred behind a thick, heavy curtain of deception and lies. They don’t love themselves and they don’t want you to either. They don’t accept reality so you shouldn’t either.
It’s not just the man hate that is driving me to quit. There are many other things contributing to my growing disdain for an industry I once loved dearly. One major component being the increasing social justice element. This has to lead to a lot of online harassment and bullying against anyone who dare think differently. Use the wrong terminology or ask any questions and BOOM you’re the enemy. One misstep, you’re transphobic, whorephobic, or a racist. People seem to forget that a well known person in this industry committed suicide over this and it was well documented that the biggest contributors to her bullying were her peers ( many claim innocence now or deny they were ever part of the harassment against her ). This was years ago, but obviously nothing was learned from it because the issue still exists and it’s even worse than before. If you don’t instantly validate the delusions or lies of the so-called “marginalized” or if you speak out against misinformation, there are consequences and threats. If you call out the insanity and you’re white, “cis”, or male instantly your thoughts and opinions aren’t valid because of privilege. Why does anyone tolerate this? I’m blown away by it everyday and unless people start to call this out and completely stop supporting this, it may never stop. This industry is supposed to be mysterious and about independence and empowerment, but those days seem to be long gone. Now it’s all about materialism and who is the biggest victim. Almost no one calls out the tremendous hypocrisy of playing a victim online for likes, RTs and other forms of validation when it’s all based on lies. Then of course it’s always “civvies” fault when people see us as victims when we’re the ones promoting that narrative! We expect non-sex workers to support our causes, but rarely does the community think of anything or anyone other than itself.
All of this tiresome, but it’s even worse to discover how many predators lurk within this industry. A lot have a huge following and good reputations ( both clients and companions ). Each day more and more people are exposed with mountains of evidence for nefarious behavior that harms sex workers and the community. It’s just getting to the point where I don’t feel safe. People get violent over a difference of opinion and predators get violent when they’re exposed. I want that out of my life. Some of you may never understand it, but it’s my life to live and I have to do what best for me and my sanity.